It's been a while...

It's been a long time since I have sat down and written a blog post. I have had a lot going on in the 3 months since I got engaged. Wow... I can't believe it's been 3 months.

My fiance and I have booked a location for the wedding, I chose bridesmaid dresses and the women who will be standing next to me when I say "I do". As well as the munchkins that will no doubt steal the show.

I have also been spending a lot of time working on myself. I joined the gym with my mom in May. we've been going 5 days a week. My problem is that I have been eating crap. Since I came back from my vacation a few weeks ago, I haven't given up vacation eating. In the last week or so I have changed my eating habits again, back to my healthy ways.

I have been enjoying the gym to an extent. It's been nice having my mom go with me. It makes me accountable to work out every day during the week. I notice a difference in the way my clothes have been fitting, and that's nice. I haven't lost any actual weight, but I'm not really stressing about the number on the scale so much anymore.

I do have to say that I went wedding dress shopping yesterday at the Macy's bridal salon. I was disappointed in the way things were handled there. My consultant was very nice, but it was difficult to see a wide variety of dresses because most of their samples came in only size 8. Since I am not that, I only had a handful of dresses I could try. I did find one that I really liked, but was disappointed that I could try the style I really wanted.

My budget will allow (at the most) a $2,000 dress. It seemed that the manager, was really focused on the bride that was spending a large amount of money, and somewhat cast me to the side. My mom mentioned something to him about how disheartening it was that I wasn't able to try the styles I wanted to because they only came in a size 8 for the sample. His response was that "because of the theme I have for my wedding and my budget being so restricted I wasn't going to find what I was looking for." That left a sour taste in my mouth. The robes in the fitting room didn't fit me, so I had to stand in my bra and underwear while the door was opened and closed to fit dresses through it. I felt very exposed. The final dress I tried on, was attempted to be put on by being pulled up over my ass and hips, while the consultant was straining to get it up (which was a wonderful feeling for me) I heard the dress rip... it ripped below the zipper about 2 inches. I didn't have to pay for anything because it was a sample, and they get ripped (or at least that's what my consultant told me) it was a blow to my confidence that the size I wear in real life, in a wedding dress was needing Crisco, and a crane to put it on me.

It's not a great feeling that I have been working fairly hard, and this experience, while fun to look at the dresses, wasn't necessarily stellar. I am changing the whole vibe of my blog. I am making it about positive thinking, and working on my mind as well as my body. The pounds will come off, I am in transition right now with working out, but I am confident that when I go for another appointment to Shelley's Bridal in West Dundee, I will put on a 16 with confidence.

I don't know what else to say at this point. I hope this is a welcomed come back.

The truth.

I suck at trying to lose weight.

I switched to SparkPeople, yeah I logged my food for 3 days and haven't logged since. I switched back to LoseIt.

I have been logging for 3 days now. I like the interface so much better. It's easier to use and I know how it works.

I have been walking while working, and cleaning at home to get my heart rate up and using that as exercise. I found it very difficult to stick with Jillian Michaels. The spaces I have available just aren't big enough to work out in.

I suck. I know this. I want so badly to be thin, I just don't want to do what I have to to get there. I hate all of it. I hate exercising. Eating right is fine, I can do that, I like healthy food. I love cooking. I just hate everything else.

I just hate it. I wish I had a magic potion I could drink and I wouldn't have to do any of this. I hate the judgment I feel when I want to eat french fries, or when I want some frozen yogurt.

I hate the feeling that I have to do this to please other people. I hate the process of getting healthy. I would much rather sit on my couch writing my novel than go for a run, or pop in a DVD where a lady yells at me for 20-30 minutes.

I'm aware I am fat and you telling me that "400 lb people" can do some of what's in the work out so I sure as hell should be able to, yeah it makes me want to cry.

I have heard every piece of advice possible. I need to just take a break from trying so hard to get this done right now. I am going back to the basics of what worked for me when I went from almost 260 pounds to 215. I am going to cut my portions, and stay below my calories. Walking again when it's not raining and nasty out. Walking is the only thing that doesn't make me want to punch kittens.

Weigh In, Party Day!!

I weighed in this morning, same as the last two weeks. Didnt gain. Didn't lose. I'm good with that for right now. Time to kick it into high gear starting Monday, I turn 26 on Friday and I am getting married in 20 months, and I need to look amazing in my dress.

Today is my birthday party and I will be indulging in some amazing food cooked by my wonderful family!

Guess I should start getting ready for the day!

What do you do when you get into a weight loss repetitive slump? How do you keep motivated?

Another Weigh- in Day!

I wasn't going to weigh-in today. For reasons most would understand. But I decided, what the hell? Why not? If I gained a pound or two, eh. At least I know why I did. But I worked out 3 days this week, and ate really healthy.

So I took the steps up to the scale, and balanced myself on it. When I looked down, imagine my surprise when I saw that I had lost 3 pounds! Jillian Michaels is working her magic, that is for sure! She may be a bitch, and I yell at her every time I work out, but I'm getting results, so I'm ok with it.

That means that I am 204 pounds. 4 more until I am under 200 pounds, that hasn't happened since I was in high school. I am so close! I just need to work harder, the next few months before I start going wedding dress shopping.

I can't wait for the weather to get warmer so I can do some yard work and exercise outside. The gloomy weather has made it tough to stay motivated. I just need some sunshine in my life.

Bright side, I now have only 53 pounds left to lose! :)

Yet Another Weigh-In

I didn't do a full week of workouts this week. So I wasn't really expecting much when I weighed in this morning. We did a lot of celebrating this week, which means a few dinners out. The scale was looming, and I was sure that either I was the same weight as always, or I had gained a pound or two (which I was ok with at this point).

To my happy surprise, I lost 2 pounds!! That means I am now 207 pounds, and have 57 pounds left to lose. That means I have lost a total of 11 pounds. I am giving myself until the end of the year to lose the weight, so I can start looking around for wedding dresses at that time.

Saving up is going to take us a long time. We set a TENTATIVE date of December 12, 2014. If it is looking like we won't be able to save enough money for all that comes with a wedding and marriage, then we may need to push it back a bit :(. Hopefully this fall brings us full time jobs, and the ability to sock away a crap load of money!!

I am luck that I have so many great friends and family members, that are willing to help make things for our big day. They are helping us keep costs down, and we are so very appreciative!

November 2012 220 lbs. (I had lost 2 before
starting my blog)

My 7th of the month picture, total loss of 13 pounds
since November  

Weigh In

I have been doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred for 10 days now. I didn't lose any this week, or gain this week.

What did happen though, is I get engaged!! That means that I have a whole new reason to lose the weight! I need to fit into a wedding dress in the near future! OMG!! A WEDDING DRESS!!

I can't wait to get to my goal weight so I can get one of those stunning dresses.

Here is the moment it happened :)

I said yes of course. 

Can't wait to plan and get my ass in shape!!

Weigh in Day

Good morning my friends!

I weighed in this morning, after skipping last weekend. I lost a pound! I am now 209. I have 59 pounds left to lose!

SparkPeople has really been a great program for me. The range of at least___ many and no more than ____ many, is really a great approach. Plus doing the 30 day shred has gotten me my workouts I need.

I found that I can spare 20 minutes a day to do the workouts. I do the DVD Monday through Friday, and rest on Saturday and Sunday. It's now Saturday, and I can barely move, but I think this it's working already.

My clothes are fitting a little better, I have more energy, I just can't move.

I am treating myself today, to the big community garage sale by me :)

Jillian Michaels Sucks

Oh my gosh.

I took the advice of the kind friends and family that I have on Facebook, and started Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred. Now I was under no misconception that this would be an easy exercise program. Number 1, it's Jillian Michaels, and just her face scares the crap out of me, and 2, the name has "Shred" in it.

I started it, it didn't seem difficult, then I actually got to the workout part. She was trying to be motivational, all I really wanted to do was hit her. It was 20 minutes of torture, but I am going to do it again tomorrow night. I am so tired of being fat.

All of the great people who told me to do this were right, I was going to hate her, and that was ok. I also would need Advil. I'm not sore right now, but I will be tomorrow. That is a fact!

Before Pic, from Saturday

Switcheroo!

I made the decision on Sunday to switch which weight loss program I am doing.

I had little success with LoseIt. SO I made the decision to look into what else was out there. I am not discrediting LoseIt, as it has helped many people, my Mom and Dad for starters, but I wanted to change things up a bit.

So I started googling. I have tried MyFitnessPal in the past and didn't really care for the program. What I found that seemed to click with me a bit better is SparkPeople.com..

They appeared to fit in better with what I wanted to do. Instead of saying "You have _____ calories for the day". They said "You need a minimum of ____ calories and a maximum of _____ calories to be successful." It has ranges like that not just for calories, but for fat grams, carbohydrates, water intake, and protein.

They also gave me a weekly goal of burning 740 calories, this forces me to get some sort of exercise during my week. 180 minutes, and 740 calories. I'm half way there, between walking around the grocery store on Sunday and cleaning yesterday. (I weighed myself and have lost a pound since Sunday, could just be a coincidence.)

I will not be weighing in this week as it is my "bloat" time. Since I tend to gain 5 pounds around then, I am choosing to skip this week. I will still post on Saturday, but just not a weight.

What programs do you use? Specific exercise? Specific diet? etc.

8th Weigh-in

No change today, which I am TOTALLY good with! I had 2 date nights this week with the BF. I got salads, but sometimes those have just as many calories. Slow and steady wins the race. I am ok with the weight loss taking me a year or so. I would rather lose it slowly and keep it off, than lose it all at once and balloon back to what I was.

Still 210, I will get to my goal eventually. I need to start putting working out as a priority. I HATE doing it though. I've said it before, but I have yet to find anything I actually like doing. I liked walking during the summer, but it gets difficult for me to do in the winter. The streets are never plowed in my neighborhood so they are generally one giant sheet of ice. Maybe I should take up ice skating.

Anyone out there have suggestions of something I may like doing?

*I don't run so don't suggest that. Tried it. Hated it.*

Up Early

Hmmmm... it's quiet here. But that's good.

As much as I like sleeping in, I also really enjoy being up early. The house is quiet, and I can have extra time to get ready in the morning. While the BF sleeps the day away, I can have breakfast, spend time getting my outfit ready, do some makeup and be ready for the day ahead.

Today we are going to be old ladies, and do some mall walking. He wants to get some new contacts at his eye doctor, which means that I get to go walking around Barnes and Noble (swoon), and all of my favorite stores today.

I like this time of year, all of the new Spring clothes are out. I love looking through the new styles, and seeing what would look best for my body type. But that also means that I have to try on clothes... my biggest dread ever!

I hate trying on clothes. I go into those little rooms, feeling confident and ready, only to try on a pair of pants in the size I ALWAYS buy, and have them not fit in the slightest. It gets frustrating still when I am currently wearing a pair of pants that are a size smaller than the ones I am trying on.

Last summer, I was wearing a pair of my size 16 shorts, I couldn't get a pair of 18s to come up past my thighs... that was a great feeling. I felt more pissed about the store trying to pass a size 14 as a size 18 than anything else. Clothing sizes are so jacked anyway. It should be about how you feel in your clothes than what size you wear, but it never seems to be that way. So much of my life, and everyone else's, is tied into what number is sewn into our pants. I wear a 16, usually, and an L or XL on top. Depending on the store I go into, I could need a M top or an XXL top. Sometimes I need an 18 or 20 pant, WHILE I AM WEARING MY 16 JEANS!! That just doesn't make sense to me! Shouldn't sizes be more universal than that? Who out there decided that the 16 were just too big and needed to be about 2 inches smaller?

I watch old episodes of I Love Lucy, she wore a size 12. 12! She would talk about her size during the show all the time. But sizes were different back then. Now they are fuel for mocking. I know that it's a way to measure weight loss, but still... these arbitrary numbers should change. I am size Curvy. I'm hoping to be size Fit. That is how I am looking at it now.

Better get going, I have to eat breakfast, and put together some things for dinner before I go to the mall with the BF.

7th Weigh-in

I always try and start off my weigh-in posts with a bit of suspense. Did I lose? Did I gain? Did I stay the same? Hmmmmm...

I LOST this week!! 1 pound, but hey it's a pound!

Currently 210. Yay!

Another Winning Recipe!

I am so loving the Pinterest recipes I have been trying! Tonight was Tortellini Soup.
Here is the link to the original recipe. But again, I changed a few things. http://littlefellows.blogspot.com/2011/11/best-crockpot-meal-ive-tried-yet.html

Here is what I did:
1 Roll of Bob Evans Pork Breakfast Sausage
1- 19 oz bag Tortellini (cheese filled)
2- 15 oz. cans Italian style diced tomatoes
5 1/2 C. chicken broth
1 block 1/3 less fat cream cheese
2 1/2 tbsp. nonfat greek yogurt
1 bag fresh baby spinach

Easiest meal ever. Brown the sausage. Add all ingredients to the crockpot and cook on low for 4-6 hours. Serves 4-6. I think next time I would wait until about  half way through cooking to add the pasta. Ours was just a bit overdone, but the flavors were so delicious. I suggest you try it for sure!

What's for dinner?

Ok, so I have to post what I made for dinner tonight. It was super easy, and absolutely amazing!
I made Spinach and Black Bean enchiladas. Vegetarian, and filled with amazingly healthy ingredients.
Organic no salt added vegetable broth, low sodium black beans, fresh baby spinach, corn and shredded cheese. I got the recipe from a post on Pinterest, here is the link for it, http://www.thegardengrazer.com/2012/03/black-bean-spinach-enchiladas.html

I tweaked the recipe a bit. Here's what I did:

The sauce: I followed the recipe.
2 tbsp olive oil
1/4 C. tomato paste
1/4 C. flour
2 tsp. Cumin
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. onion powder
1/4 tsp. chili powder (I missed adding this, would have been that added zest and I will add the next time.)
3 C. Vegetable broth
Salt and Pepper

Heat the oil, add the tomato paste, flour and all the spices. Cook for 1 minute. Slowly add the 3 C. of Vegetable broth, whisking between each addition so it won't clump. (I had a real issue with clumping in mine.) Make sure it's all incorporated before you add more broth. Add salt and pepper to taste. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 375.
What I did for the filling:
1 can low sodium black beans
2 C. frozen corn (lightly thawed)
2 C. fresh baby spinach
3 C. shredded cheese
2 tsp. Cumin
10 whole wheat tortillas

Saute the spinach until wilted, add in the corn and saute until heated through. In a big mixing bowl, add the beans, the corn, the spinach, 2 C. of the cheese and the cumin. Mix up. Spray a 9x13 baking dish with nonstick spray, pour a small amount of sauce in the bottom of the pan. Enough to cover it, set aside the rest. Next put a line of the filling in a tortilla, roll it up, place each roll seam side down in the pan. Cover with remaining sauce and cheese. Bake for 20 minutes, until bubbly.

It was phenomenal. We loved them. I can't wait to make them again!

6th Weigh-in

I think that this is my sixth weigh-in. So that means in 6 weeks, I have lost 7 pounds total.

At this weeks weigh-in I lost 4 of the 5 pounds I gained last week.

I'm torn, do I applaud myself for losing 4 pounds, or feel still slightly saddened that I am up 1.

I was really hoping to have been further along in my weight loss than I am at this moment. 6 weeks, and I have only lost 7 pounds. This is why I hate the scale.

I think that I may make my weigh ins every other week. While I did lose this week, I still feel like I didn't do enough to have lost all of the weight I gained. I think if I weigh-in every other week, it will give me and my body a chance to see results in a more timely manner. I think it will make me feel less stressed out about it all.

My clothes feel bigger, I feel like I look smaller, but the scale just doesn't say the same thing. I hate that thing.

Current Stats:

Weight: 211
Calories: 1,471
Pounds lost: 7
Pounds left: 61

My Week

I know, I know. It's been a while since I wrote a new post. Since my last weigh-in I just didn't know what to talk about. I tried changing up my diet this week to see if it helped. I guess I will see tomorrow if it does anything.

I still look in the mirror and don't see a 215 pound person. I don't feel like I look that "big". I hate the the scale runs the show, but I guess I still need to use it to measure my progress. Suck.

I've been subbing almost everyday this week, and when I wasn't I was working on writing the novel I have started. I write, my dad edits, and then I move on to the next chapter. I really hope that I can get it published, I think it's really getting good!

Because I have so many hobbies that I love doing sometimes things fall through the cracks a bit. Sadly knitting and blogging have done that in the last couple of weeks. I have been so lost in my characters lives and where they are going to go, I forget that I have people who have been enjoying reading about my journey through this lifestyle change.

Tomorrow I weigh in again. I am pretty nervous about it, especially after last weekend. I'm afraid that the number won't go down again, or that it'll go up again. I wait with bated breath as I step on that scale and see the number that I allow to define me.

Made a meatless pasta dish for dinner, full of spinach, green bell peppers, onions and garlic. Just a touch of salt, and pepper and a little sprinkle of parmesan cheese. It was a delicious Lenten meal.

I think I am done for the night, I will write again in the morning after my dreaded weigh-in...

Weigh-in

Here we are again, time for the monthly bloat that leaves me feeling like Violet Bauregaurd from Willy Wonka. For 7-10 days I put on 5 pounds of who knows what.

It's a wonderful thing to be a woman.

Not.

So here I am, feeling like a failure, because my body put on 5 pounds in a week.

I thought I was doing so well this week. I was active, and ate right. I thought I could avoid it, but it was inevitable.

Oh well.

Done writing for today.

Current weight 215.

Fail.

It's been a while

So I realize I've been neglecting to post in the last few days. I find that sometimes when I don't have things to say, my posts just ramble, and you're all left wondering why you clicked my link.

Today I am writing for 2 reasons. The first is because I wanted to post a new picture of me on the 7th of each month to track my progress. But since I forgot it was the 7th on the actual 7th, I took one this morning with my phone and am posting today. It's not a great picture (quality wise) but at least you can tell its me.

The other thing I wanted to talk about was the way that girls in middle and high school see their bodies.

I substituted yesterday, in the classroom I was in, I overheard a 7th grade girl talk about how she had lost 4 pounds, and wanted to lose 10 more. I looked over at this girl, who is a very healthy weight, and asked her to repeat what she said. She then proceeded to tell me that she weighed 114 pounds, and she wanted to be no more than 100. For a girl who was about 3 inches shorter than I was, weighing 100 pounds were make her look like she was ill.

It bothered me that poor self image started with this girl already. I told her what I would have told anyone in that situation. At her age her body is going through so many changes, that weight will fluctuate. I told her that my poor self image started at her age and that I still struggle with it everyday. She was a beautiful girl, who was a very healthy weight. If she wanted to be healthy, she should eat better foods (I.e. veggies, fruits, lean meats, etc) and to do light exercise to stay active. I'm sure she didn't care about what I had to say. But I said it anyway, and hopefully I said something that will stick with her.

Would you have done the same thing?

5th Weigh-in

Couldn't be happier... Well maybe I could, if I had lost some.

But I didn't gain!

That is what I was worried about. I thought for sure I would have gained. I guess this week I am kicking my rear into gear to get this jump started. Thankfully we have no holidays or parties that we are going to. As much as I try and resist temptations of appetizers and yummy desserts.. I just can't my family is filled with great cooks!

But still I didn't gain! Same weight as last week!

Current Weight (Still): 210

If you need the rest of my stats, just check last weeks post :)

Feeling the Fat

Feeling very nervous about my weigh-in tomorrow. I feel like, because of the poor eating I did over the weekend, I have probably gained some pounds.

Such a disappointment.

I know that it's just one week, and I can do better this weekend and during the week to lose at the next weigh-in, but I still can't help but feel like I have let myself down.

I need to wait until I weigh-in to see the true results, but sometimes you just know.

Dinner tonight was pretty low cal. Crock Pot Beer Chicken is 123 calories per piece of chicken, then we had a little bit of mashed potatoes (no gravy or butter) and some green beans. Well rounded and very tasty.

I almost feel like skipping this weigh-in and having a do-over week... but that is not part of this plan.

Oh well, I guess I could be pleasantly surprised tomorrow, maybe I will be the same weight that I was last week.

Was going to indulge in a glass of wine, today was a long day, but I won't... too many calories.

Apple and hot tea.

Being Sick Messes with my Skill

I have really come to hate teaching for one single reason... being CONSTANTLY sick. I have not built up my immunity yet to the common cold that I have had a few times this school year. 

I have to say the most irritating thing about this cold is not the congestion, or the occasional cough attack, it's the fact that I have lost the ability to cook well. 

I tried making lunch for myself today... well that was interesting. I had a couple squares of pizza left over from this weekend, I read somewhere that heating it up in a skillet helped keep the crust crispy. So I thought "Oh, hey, yeah, I can totally try that one!" yeah... My crust was crispy alright.. and black.. along with the cheese on it. So I threw that away. I looked in the fridge and saw the left over Chicken Stroganoff  I cooked Friday last week. Did some mental math, called my mom to make sure it would still be ok, and then cooked up a small bowl. With my stuffy nose, it really didn't taste good, so I threw that away too. Finally I saw some shredded swiss and corned beef from the deli on the fridge. I decided to make a reuben! Can't screw that up right?! ...yeahhhh... 

I had the heat on low, sprayed the pan, light light light amounts of butter on the bread to grill it. I went to the bathroom for LITERALLY 10 seconds to get a hair tie, went back to my sandwich, BURNED! One side was black as black! So I turned off the heat, and took off the burned piece of bread. I switched it out and tried again. Once again, I burned the other side, and just decided Eff it! I ate it anyway. 

Thankfully my wonderful Mom came home and cooked dinner. If it were up to me we probably would have had to go out to eat because I probably would've burned the place down. 

This cold needs to go away simply because I love cooking and clearly have no ability to do so when I am sick. 

Time for dinner, cooked by someone else, and it smells delicious! 

Post Super Bowl Blah...

Oh man. Last night was quite the game, during the black out I called it! I knew that the 49ers would come back... I didn't say they would win, but I predicted that they would close the gap!

The game was definitely a good one. You know what else was good? The food table... We had 3 rounds of food (4 if you count dessert). First round was Pickle Dip, Tex-Mex Dip, chips, crackers etc. Then we had Dog Food Biscuits, Ribs, Reuben Dip, Deviled Eggs with Pancetta, and more chips and crackers. Third round was Shrimp, with an array of sauces, more Dog Food Biscuits, and Chicken Tenders. For dessert we had Banana Cream Cookies, Brownies, Yellow Cake Mix Cookies, and Brownies... we also had vanilla frozen yogurt.

I tried not to go crazy with the food, there were a lot of things I didn't eat. But the dips are always my favorite. I had some Tex-Mex, Pickle Dip, Deviled Eggs, Dog Food Biscuits, Cookies and a few crackers and chips.

Today is a detox day... bland foods with low calories. I had way too much to eat yesterday. If I don't lose this week I hope I at least didn't gain.

We laughed so much last night, I had to have burned a few calories. We always laugh a lot when we are with our second family.

But that doesn't stop the sluggish feeling I have this morning. Doesn't help that I didn't go to bed until 11 and had to be up around 6. While that seems like a lot of sleep to some, I need more than that to function. But I will make it through my day, and then come home and go to sleep!

4th Weigh-in

This week I was worried about the weigh-in.

After not losing last week, I tried eating a bit lighter this week.
I have an apple for dessert every night, I usually have it with a little peanut butter. I cut out the peanut butter this week and had Lite Cool Whip instead. 20 calories for the same amount! I didn't ACTUALLY exercise this week, but I did track my motion with Nexercise while I worked and found that I am moving around a lot during the day. That helped me level up a few times, and burn a few hundred calories a day :)

I even had Chinese food during the week on day... not the best of choices, but it had been a while and it was good.

I didn't once go over my calories, and I cooked the rest of the week. Not being at home during the day helped me a lot this week. If I am not at home, I don't snack.

So anyway... back to my weigh-in.

Drumroll.

I lost 4 pounds this week!

My current stats:
Current Weight: 210
Pounds Lost: 8
Pounds to go: 60
Current Calorie Allowance: 1,464

I couldn't believe it when I stepped on the scale. I was sure either I was the same or just lost 1 pound. But I never imagined that I had lost 4 pounds!!! That is just amazing to me.

I have gotten a new motivation. Sunday, Superbowl day, day of appetizers and party food, is worrying me a bit. I just need to remember to take it slow and not gorge myself with the bad stuff. (maybe)

Thank you to everyone who reads this, it helps keep me motivated. I feel like you are all celebrating with me when I lose weight, disappointed with me when I don't. Thank you for following my ups and downs, and turning into faithful readers. It makes this journey worth doing. It makes this blog worth writing, and I appreciate you all for it.

Guppy Food

I love that I am the one who makes dinner. I get to decide what mt family eats (usually). I love making healthy food for them. And me.

Since January I have been scouring for new healthy menu ideas. Pinterest is a great place. Tonight I made one of our new favorites, Faux Fried Rice. Here's the catch, it's not made with any rice. It's made with grated cauliflower. That's right, cauliflower.

What I did was I I took a head of fresh cauliflower and grated it with a Cuisinart food processor. I took a few chicken breasts, cubed them, and browned them before adding the grated cauliflower to the pan. Once the chicken cubes were browned, I added the grated cauliflower. Cook it until it's tender but not mushy. Then add in 1/4 cup of soy sauce, and 1 tsp of sesame oil. Stir it up. Push the cauliflower to one side and scramble in egg in the empty space then mix together. Eat it all up!

This is a meal that we call "Guppy Food". Guppies eat until they die. This is one of those meals that even if you are full to the brim you just can't stop eating it.

There are quite a few things that are qualified as "Guppy Food" in our family.
But this is a new one that we have added to our list!

Honestly

There are 2 things that I want to talk about today. Neither of them have to do with weight or weight loss.

I have said before that I have my degree in teaching. I am currently a substitute teacher. I love getting to experience different age groups and seeing where I would really like to focus my efforts.

There is a difference when applying for a teaching job than there is when applying for a corporate, or office job. Principals are typically not the people picking out the applicants that are talked to. They help narrow down the pool, but they don't pick the first round. Also even before the events in Connecticut security was tight. You can't usually get into a school to drop off a resume due to this security, which is now even tighter.When applying for a job in the corporate world, sure you can go and turn in your resume for face time. When you're applying for a teaching job (sometimes over an hour away) it's not easy to do. Especially when the people who pull the applicants aren't always located at the school itself. Getting in contact with Principals about applications is also frowned upon. In talking with my instructors (who worked in the schools) and talking with administration staff that I know, I have been told expressly that getting in contact with principals and superintendents does not give you an advantage. They are getting 1500 applications, and 1000 emails about the applications. What person out there can say that they would sit and read 1000 emails and attached resumes? Teaching is a difficult job to get. When sending out applications it's all about who you know. Seeing as how, at this time, there are upwards of 1000 applicants for each position, they cannot read every email or listen to every voice mail or return every message.

I appreciate all of the suggestions and tips and ideas. At this point though, I have been looking for a job for 3 years. I could pretty much write a book about what to do and what not to do. Not that it would make a difference because I obviously don't have all of the answers since I still don't have a full time job. I have tried looking for tutoring jobs, and nanny jobs, but here's the rub of it... schools don't count tutoring or day care centers or nanny positions as "classroom experience" and since the only way to get that experience is by being IN A CLASSROOM I am substitute teaching. Yes it's sometimes a thankless job, when I am bouncing around to 10 different classrooms in a day, but it's still just as rewarding as having my own classroom. I get to see what I want to do, what I DON'T want to do, what I should have, and ultimately what grade I want to end up in. When I started my journey I wanted to be in Kindergarten, after student teaching I really felt more comfortable and prepared to teach kids that were in 3rd or 4th grade, and now having subbed in all grades, I really am enjoying 6th grade English and Social Studies.

But still, applying for a teaching job is not the same as applying for any other job. All applications are done online, and usually only the most recent 50-100 are pulled to be looked at. When applying timing is also important. I used to apply right when I saw a position, but at the end of my last cycle I applied closer to the end date. That was when I got my first interview. This year I will be looking more at the end dates of applying. What I am hoping for more than anything with this post, is that people understand that while I appreciate their support and words of wisdom and encouragement, applying for a teaching job can't be broken up into "This is what you're doing wrong, what you should be doing is..." or "Here's this article I found on Google".

Now that I am done with that Soap Box here is my other one.

I don't drive. Many of you know this, but on the flipside many don't.

When I was 16, in driver's ed, I had a behind the wheel teacher that was no fan of mine. Before I even started driving I was apprehensive about it. I couldn't believe that I was being trusted with something so big as driving. I was responsible for not only what I did on the road, but for the people in the car with me, AND I had to make sure that the people around me weren't going to crash into me. This made me nervous. I didn't like driving. I didn't feel I was very good at it. I know it is just something that takes practice, but I was the oldest in my family so neither of my parents had dealt with this yet. My mom would get anxious (she wouldn't admit it, but I could feel it every time I would drive) and my dad would sit in the back seat and hyperventilate. Yeah that helps the impressionable 16 year old be comfortable behind the wheel. Anyway back to my teacher.

First of all his name was Mr. Die. You can't make this shit up. He was mean, and had a ridiculous driving grade sheet. This was a Summer session. While all my other classmates were going to the McDonald's drive-thru as their lesson, we were being graded every second and had to do everything PERFECT to get even close to a good grade.

I was told 2 things by this man over the course of my LEARNING to drive.
   1.) I should never drive again
   2.) This is why women have the reputation of bad driving.

My last day, all of my friends walked away with that coveted waiver. The one that said that you didn't need to take the BTW test to get your license. I walked away with a D, and the decision that I would save the world, and do what he said.. never drive again. At 16 this was acceptable. I didn't need to have my license. But I am now 25. I am getting closer and closer to having that job. I am getting closer to moving out and starting my adult life. I have a boyfriend who cannot see at night and therefore cannot drive at night. Me getting my license is now a necessity.

I made 2 New Year's resolutions this year, lose weight was my public one... the other one I wanted to keep to myself, but I figured what's the reason behind that. If I tell everyone maybe I can get some help from people. My second one is to get my license.

I have been reading up on the tests, and while I am still very scared to get behind the wheel of a car, I need to do it for myself. But I have given myself A YEAR to do it. I am waiting for the weather to brighten up a bit to get out and drive again. (This is my personal preference. I know the benefits of learning during the winter, but I don't need that added stress.)

I am tired of the remarks and comments, mostly from my family, about how I need to do it. I am not a stupid person, I am a very intelligent person, I know what I need to do, and feeling belittled because I haven't yet doesn't help anything. I started dreading family functions, or seeing people I haven't seen for a while that's not what I want. I lived in fear of that question "Are you driving yet?" because it was inevitable. It never stopped with just that question... it went on and on. "Why not???", "You know you need to get it, right??", "What are you going to do without it??", "You can't rely on your mommy to get you around all the time", "Just do it!"

Meanwhile I am sitting there feeling more uncomfortable than you could ever imagine because guess what, I know all of that. I am aware. Because believe it or not, I have heard that same line of questions and statements from the person I talked to just before you.

It still doesn't make sense financially for me, I am making $70 a day (after taxes) and I am only working 2-3 days per week. When I get my license, regardless of if I have a car or not, I need to be added to insurance, which I cannot afford. Both my parents and my brother need to use the household cars, and I certainly can't afford to purchase one of my own. SOoooOOOoo yes, I will have my license but it will be used mostly for emergency purposes until I can afford gas, insurance, and... you know... the car.

If anyone is willing to help me I would welcome different riders, or teachers. But be aware I don't have a permit. I can only get one if I am enrolled in Driver's Education classes, and I can't afford those... I also wouldn't want to be the 25 yr old in the class of 15 yr olds... talk about embarrassing.

3rd.

I guess my week of healthy meals and activity while working didn't make a difference. I lost nothing this week. I didn't gain, but I also didn't lose.

Feeling discouraged, but I know that this is a natural part of weight loss. I don't like it, but I know it happens.

I guess that's all I really have to say today.

Day by Day

Tomorrow is my third weigh-in. I'm both nervous and excited about what the scale will say. Sometimes I wish my scale would do what the Special K scales do, you know, where you step on and instead of it saying a number is says "Pizzazz" or "Joy" or some other corny adjective.

But at the same time I'm happy is says a number. I just wish that the number is says didn't define me as much as it does. It should be about how you feel inside, how your clothes look and fit. There are some days where I feel like the number on that scale is tattooed on my forehead. When I have gone through 67 different outfits in the morning because I just can't seem to find anything that looks good that day. Then there are the days where I am convinced that the scale is broken because my pants look huge, and I don't want to change my clothes into pajamas at the end of the day because my outfit is just so damn stellar!

Weight is funny that way.

I look in the mirror and don't think I look like I am 214 pounds. I feel like I look smaller. I see people on Biggest Loser or Celebrity Fit Club (is that even a thing anymore?? No idea.) who weigh about the same and I think to myself "I know I don't look THAT big!"

It's so strange to me how weight is carried so differently on different people.

But I keep taking my journey day by day. I am trying not to get too ahead of myself. It is only 4 pounds after all, I am not going down in a size for a while. But I keep seeing all of the cute Spring and Summer stuff that is already out in the stores. (That's right Old Navy I'm looking at you. Swim suits already?? It's January!) All I think when I see those adorable things are "Oh man I can't wait to try skinny jeans!" ok... even if I am 150 pounds I doubt that skinny jeans will ever be flattering on me! But I digress.

I just have to remember to take this adventure day by day. Don't get hung up on what is coming next month or the month after. Chose to eat like a bird the night before weigh-in over the cookie that your brother offered you today (those are for my weekend cheat days).

One pound at a time... just one pound at a time... (but hopefully a couple tomorrow morning!)

Germs...

I have turned into quite the germ-a-phobe since I started subbing in the school districts. I am constantly washing my hands or sanitizing. Every time I am in a school and I see a kid wipe his nose on his hand and the touch the door... my skin crawls. Walking down the hallways I see one kid after another openly coughing and spewing their germs everywhere.

That  is the one part of teaching that I am not ok with. They say that the first year of teaching you are just constantly sick. So far I am seeing that. It's tough being a sub, I am there a couple days and then gone a couple. Just that little bit of contact with the plethora of germs I have had 3 colds so far this year.

It puts a damper on "diet" things when I can't talk without coughing, but I am sticking to my eating habits even when I can't work out.

I am not trying to make excuses but finding a place to work out it tough for me. My bedroom is very small. I usually use my Wii to work out (Zumba, Just Dance, Wii Fit etc). I don't have work out equipment (elliptical,  bike, treadmill) I can't afford such equipment, and I don't have room for such equipment. It gets tough to work out in my room because there is such a small space.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't really care for working out in front of others. I have a window to work out on days that I am home alone. If I am working I get up and ready for work at 6:15 get off work at 3:30 get home around 4, then start dinner. Usually on work days I work I don't work out. I am moving around a lot when I work so I could that as my exercise.

I could move my Wii between upstairs and downstairs everyday.. But seriously "Ain't nobody got time for that".

Anyone want to start a donation fund for me to get a cheap gym membership?? ... Yeah... didn't think so.

2nd Weigh-In

This week I had a lot against me.
Ladies will know what I am talking about.

It doesn't help that I had a pretty busy week so I really didn't have time to work out except for Monday, Thursday and Friday.

And even though I ate really well this week, I was still very worried to get on that scale this morning. But I got up, worked up my courage... stepped on that scale..

AND I LOST 1 POUND!!

It wasn't what I was hoping for, but given the circumstances I'm pretty happy with that 1 pound!

Stinks that I lost 6 more calories with that pound though. My date to reach my goal weight has changed to September 5th... I am taking it as a personal challenge to best this algorithm and reach my goal before that date.

My Current Stats:

Weight: 214
Current Calories: 1,491
Pounds to go: 64
Pounds Lost: 4

The other thing I wanted to talk about today was my dinner from last night. Oh my gosh, high five to the ladies at SkinnyTaste.com for creating the Zucchini Lasagna! It was fantastic! It was a bit labor intensive, I started cooking at 2:30 and it didn't finish until 5:15, but it was totally worth it.

Here's the link for the recipe: (Best part is that 1/8 of this pan is only 345 calories!)

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2009/02/zucchini-lasagna.html

Here are my pictures of the finished pan, and a delicious piece!

Pan of Lasagna fresh from the oven

Delicious Piece... 

I HIGHLY suggest you try making this dish, the only person who didn't like it was my brother, and that's because he is picky and won't try new things.

Next time I make it, I will probably try harder to get the moisture out of the zucchini, as you can see it got a little watery. I'm pretty sure my dad licked his plate though so it was ok. 

QOD

Is there anything that you want to see in my blog that I am not doing?

Nexercise

I am so in love with this app!!

It is so much fun! All you do is pick what exercise you are doing and track your motion for XP points, and mPoints.

The great thing is that the selection of work outs is very extensive. They have Zumba, P90X, Insanity, Turbo Fire, and all of the other big name work out plans. The absolute BEST part of this is with the mPoints that you earn, you can get gift cards! 25,000 mPoints can get you a $25 gift card. They are donated by the sponsors of Nexercise to promote working out among its users!

It's as easy as just putting your iPhone/iPod in your pocket or in an arm band any time you work out. It tracks your motion, and gives you the amount of time you worked out.

I, so far, have about 1,000 mPoints. I think I have been using this app about 2-3 weeks. I encourage all of you to try it out! I think you will get addicted to it also. I know that this is my 3rd post about it, but seriously, it's awesome!

I cleaned for 30 minutes, and did Zumba for 1 hour and I earned enough mPoints to level up today! OH and when you level up you get to spin a wheel for extra mPoints!!

Here is the link for it http://www.nexercise.com/

Taken from their website 

Download it, try it, I know you'll love it. 

Ok now that I'm done raving about Nexercise, it's time to get back to a real post.

Tonight I am making a family favorite for dinner, Spanish Rice. It's not the best calorically, but it is soooo yummy. 

We have made this for as long as I can remember. Usually we make it with bacon too, but I eliminated the bacon for tonight, to cut a little of the bad from it. 

(This is for a double batch, and if you want to add the bacon.) 

What you do is you cook the bacon in the skillet until crispy. Remove from pan and let it cool on a paper towel, set aside. Keep some of the bacon grease in the pan and brown up 1 1/2 lb of ground beef. Season it with salt, pepper, garlic, and chili powder. Mix it all up. Add in 1 cup bell pepper and 1 med. onion, cook. Add in 2 cans of Ro-Tel tomatoes,  2 cups uncooked white rice, and 4 cups of water. Reduce your heat to low, cover and simmer. Keep checking it to see if the rice is done, and make sure it's not sticking. Serve with the bacon crumbled on top. 

Sooo yummy!! But again I am taking out the bacon for tonight. It is just that little bit of extra calories that none of us need! 

Let me know if you are trying any of these recipes that I have added and what you think of them!!

Oh annoying...

Today I had to get up way before I would've naturally awoken, and went into the office with my mom. Had to work today at 11:30. From about 11:30 until I came home I had a hole in my sock... right on the big toe. I tried my best to walk around a lot today because I wasn't going to get in my exercise for today, but all I could feel was the hole in my sock.

Gah!!

Doing a bad thing tonight. Having Culver's for dinner... Added it up, 1,000 calories, doable and I didn't go over!

It's definitely difficult to cook dinner on Wednesday nights. Since I usually work Wednesdays, so I don't get home until 3:30 or a little after, then I have to teach Religious Ed at 5:30, it doesn't leave a lot of time to cook, and eat before we need to go. We were going to do sandwiches, Culver's sounded better.

Tomorrow I hit it hard with Zumba... for a good hour. Thankful that I am home alone tomorrow so I can work out when I wake up.

I have started already running out of things to talk about in a blog post.

Done for today.

I'm One Stomach Flu Away From my Goal Weight!

Ok so that's not really true.
But it is sadly something I have a touch of. :(

I wasn't going to post today, but I am feeling better so I decided to do so. Just a little update on some other things that aren't just weight loss and body image.

I have started taking biotin for my hair in the last couple of days. I want to have long beautiful luxurious hair! So many great things I can do with long hair!

I have seen so many ideas on Pinterest about hair styles and updos that I can do with long hair.. I just have to fight the urge to chop my hair off like I am feeling at this moment. I usually have shorter hair, but recently have had the thought, new body, new hair. I like the idea of working on a few goals at a time.

I have seen a lot of hair treatments for breaking, brittle, dry hair. Have any of you used them? I would be interested to know how they work. If they work.

I got blonde highlights over the summer last year and since then have had the worst problem with breaking brittle hair. I have naturally curly, wavy, thick, frizzy hair. I use moisturizing shampoo and conditioner (drugstore brands, can't afford the good stuff) and I have started using "Not your mom's long hair" shampoo and conditioner.

Nothing really seems to help, I try deep conditioning, I only wash my hair every couple of days (because if I did it everyday it would be WAYYYYY worse!), I use silkening oil... I have tried everything. The last couple of weeks I have been trying to give my hair a break by not using my flat iron, and it seems even worse. I know that the weather factors into it as well.

QOD

Do you have any tips or tricks to help dry breaking hair grow longer? What are your favorite treatments?

Sunday Sunday

Looking at my week ahead, there aren't many opportunities for me to be consistently working out.
So I have made me weekends my make up days! I did yoga yesterday (that was kind of a joke), I did 30 minutes of Zumba today (burned a bit!) and walked around the store grocery shopping and burned more!

My goal weight projection date has changed now too! It's only a day earlier but hey!

Thinking about my week ahead, I'm glad that I am working for 3 days. It gives me less of a chance to snack when I'm bored. I have other hobbies, like stamping or knitting, but when I'm bored I always seem to gravitate to the pantry for a crunchy snack.

I know I'm not alone in that.

I hope that this week I can stick to my more strict eating, and working out.


QOD

How do you stick to eating habits and work out plans?

First Weigh-In!

Yikes!! Today was my first weigh-in day! 

I woke up with the thought of doing some relaxing Yoga to get me ready for the day... yeah... I'm not really cut out for Yoga. I feel like I'm pretty flexible! Until I try Yoga! 

"In your exhale, with a small smile of your face, jump from downward dog, to plank, and back to downward dog"

Yeah right! I actually laughed at the DVD lady, and then turned off the DVD. So for future reference Yoga only burns 38 calories for 15 minutes. Kind of lame, but my weekends are supposed to be my rest days anyway so that's ok.

I came downstairs and decided I couldn't put it off any longer... I wasn't really ready but I did it anyway.
Got on the scale.

I LOST 3 POUNDS!!!

So my current weight is 215.
My current calorie allowance is 1,497.
I burned 38 calories this morning with Yoga.

I hope that this continues!! If I can lose 2-3 pounds per week I can be at my goal in no time!

3 pounds down... 65 to go!

Going Back...

I was thinking back to when I started gaining weight. I can remember when I was about 8 or 9 asking my mom and dad if I was fat. At that time, I was a normal weight and size for my age. I always was thinking I was fat.

I was 8 years old here 

It doesn't help that at that age, I had already fallen and cracked one of my front teeth, and didn't have many close friends.

I think my self confidence problem, and weight gain started more in 5th and 6th grade. 5th grade was probably the worst year I had in school ever. I was made fun of relentlessly.

I hated going to school everyday. Most of my friends that I had at my elementary school were no longer my friends when I got the 5th and 6th grade. It was the year that 2 of the schools in my town merged into 1, that was the toughest. All of the kids from the new school that were in my class decided that I wasn't cool, or worth common decency. I cried a lot, I got into a fight or 2, and didn't feel supported by anyone except my teacher (who I am still in contact with today, and she has inspired me to do great things) and of course my parents.

Me and Mrs. Andersen in 5th grade

I remember at dinner I would always eat whatever my brother didn't. I would get made fun of for being heavier, I would get made fun of for the way my hair was (it's naturally curly and frizzy), I would get made fun of for my glasses, and my clothes. Basically anything that I did was made fun of in some capacity. I hated every single day of 5th grade. Middle school wasn't much better, and neither was the first half of high school. By 7th grade, my tooth had re-broken and I started to add on some pounds due both to over eating and starting with the wonderful plumper, puberty.

Me in 7th Grade

While I had more friends by the time I was in 8th grade and freshman year, they weren't really great friends. I was the one that people went to when everyone else was busy. I felt very solitary, I felt alone a lot. Getting into high school didn't change things really. I was still always alone, and then I had the added fun of the mean girls and popular cliques laughing at me behind my back. I was always being told that so&so said this about me, and so&so said that about me, usually it related to my weight. I remember distinctly that one time someone came up to me and told me that they were told "Maybe if I lost some weight, I could actually get a boyfriend". That's a great thought to plant into the head of someone who at 16 so badly wanted that connection with someone else.

It made no difference, I still continued to gain weight through high school. At my heaviest I weighed about 225 pounds.

Senior prom came around and I decided that it was time to lose weight. I wanted to be able to buy those pretty dresses that all of the other girls were getting. I worked really hard, I got down to 190 pounds... I tried on dresses... and nothing looked good on me still. I was heartbroken. I ended up finding a dress. It wasn't as glamorous as all of the other girls dresses, but it was pretty and comfortable.

Since high school I have gone up to my highest weight of 246 pounds, then went back down to 210, then have hovered between 210 and 218 for the last 2 years.

Looking back at those years in school... it still sometimes brings me to tears. Whether they realized it or not the things that were said to me by a lot of people have stayed with me since they were said. Bullying was a big reason why I would never go back to high school again if given the opportunity. I became a teacher so that maybe I could make a difference when it comes to bullying. I see those kids who are bigger, or shorter, or taller, or have a weird name or whatever kids are making  fun of now, and I just want to hug them all and tell them that it won't always be this way. Yeah it hurts when someone says something mean to you, I won't ever say it doesn't because I've been there. But if I can get past it then so can you.

I had a great support system then and still do now. Even though my outside doesn't reflect how I feel inside, I am now on the road to finding that equilibrium.


Q.O.D. 

Were you ever bullied? Did you ever bully someone else? 

THE FLU HAS STRUCK!

The flu... this horrible illness that has been going around, has struck down half of my family.

I didn't have a subbing job today so I took the opportunity to clean, and sanitize EVERYTHING!! I don't want to be a sweaty shivering mess!

2 hours of cleaning, and spraying bleach on everything, vacuuming, and trying to figure out why the vacuum wasn't working and smelled like it was burning... My poor sick mom came and sat on the floor to try and fix it too. In the end I just gave up on it.

I did burn 478 calories. And I leveled up with Nexercise (which by the I found out that if you get anywhere from 1,000-25,000 XP points, you can trade them for gift cards!!). IF any of my followers join Nexercise, please find me!

Tonight I am doing a quick and easy meal, because I have to teach religious ed, so dinner is very abbreviated on Wednesdays.

They're easy. I whipped up some Hellman's light mayo, with a bit of garlic powder and some dill. Smear it on a leaf or 2 of iceberg lettuce, add a piece of your favorite white cheese, and a few slices of your favorite lunch meat (I am using deli sliced chicken breast) roll it up like a wrap, slice and eat!

Back to Work

Here I thought, "Yes! Back to work! This will be super easy to stick to my diet! I'm not home!"

Wrongo.

Everyone decided that they would bring in all of the cookies, candies, and cakes that they had at their homes that they didn't want there anymore. There was an entire TABLE full!!

But I was good, I sat there with my carrots, sandwich and orange. Totally unsatisfying, and all I wanted was a Reese's Pieces cookie! Like... I would've done more for that cookie than anyone would've done for a Klondike Bar.

Just thinking about it again now... mmmmmm...

BUT I RESISTED!

I came in today (after all of my meals, and about an hour of slow walking, didn't have the time for real workout) at about 400 calories under my budget! So I had my little bowl of Cheerios, my completely unsatisfying lunch, and then for dinner... oh dinner.. It was delish! (Recipe at the end)

It's always really tough for me to resist these sweets. I have always been a sweets person. Like I said in a previous post, if I had calories left over before I would have a big bowl of ice cream. Or some cookies, cake, muffins... Yeah I love sweets.

When I am wasting time on Pinterest, a majority of my waste is spent pinning baked goods. Which I just hope for a special occasion to pop up so I can make, and indulge in one of these amazingly devilish concoctions.

Eating dessert at Olive Garden

I love dessert. Sadly my dessert these days are apples (sometimes with crunchy or creamy peanut butter), which give me the sweet I like, but just aren't completely the same, and a cup of hot green tea (usually sweetened with Stevia, which, by the way, I recommend). 

Skinny Chicken and Broccoli Alfredo, I got this recipe through Pinterest. I added a couple of tweaks (a trend you will see in all of my cooking)

Here's the recipe.
Serves 4, 460 Calories per serving

3 Chicken Breasts
2 C. Broccoli Florets
8 oz. Fettuccini
2 Tbsp Olive Oil
2 Tbsp Flour
1 C. Fat Free Chicken Broth
1/4 C. Plain Greek Yogurt (I used Oikos)
1/4 C. Skim Milk
1/4 tsp. Pepper
pinch of Nutmeg
3/4 C. Fresh Grated Parmesan

I sliced up the chicken, and browned it in some oil with salt, pepper, garlic, oregano, basil and parsley. Put it on a different plate. I used frozen broccoli, and heated it up in the microwave with some garlic (did I mention I love garlic??) Put all of it aside.

In a pot cook pasta.

In a Med. sauce pan heat olive oil over Med-High heat. Add garlic, cook about 1-2 minutes stirring frequently. Whisk in flour until smooth, gradually whisk in chicken broth, Greek yogurt, milk, pepper, & nutmeg. Bring to a low boil, stirring constantly. Lower the heat and simmer, stirring gently until mixture thickens. This takes about 3 minutes. Stir in the cheese. Then add chicken broccoli and cooked pasta. Toss and eat!

My whole family really liked this meal! It was sooo good!!


Q. O. D. (Question of the Day)

Are you more of a sweets person, or a savory person and what item do you crave most?

Day 1

Today is the big day!

I started out my morning with 55 minutes of Just Dance 4 for Wii. I was going to do Zumba, but not feeling quite so ambitious.

Started out getting myself together with Nexercise, I turned it on and put it in my arm band to track my movements. I chose the Electro Fight Combo Class thing, that was supposed to be 45 minutes (well they lied about that)... Basically it incorporated short bursts of kick-boxing in between the songs. (Which btw I was fortunate enough to dance to both Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj!! Good times... good times..) By the end I was, as I predicted, sweaty and smelly.. no rush of endorphin, nothing. I feel a little better now than I did immediately after. More than anything I was just thankful to be done for the day!

But when working out before breakfast, when you finish, you feel as though you deserve a huge reward breakfast!! A big yummy plate of eggs, and bacon and toast! ... I had 1 cup of Post Shredded wheat and 1/3 of a cup of milk, for a total of 204 calories. Since I cleaned up my room about 10 minutes for 40 calories, and Danced my ass off for about 55 minutes I burned exactly 421 calories. So I only used up about half of my calories from working out to eat breakfast.

That means I have 1,734 calories of my daily allotted 1,517. Before when I was doing this system my first thought would be "Great now I can have that big bowl of ice cream!!" This time, my thought is "Hmmm can I keep my total intake way below my allowance?" So instead of eating up my 1,517 plus 421... (which would be... lets see.. carry the 1, square root....) 1,938 calories, I am hoping to just eat about 1,000 to 1,100 of them.

Since I do meal planning I think I will be adding into each post that I do what I am making for dinner, and the recipe for it.

Tonight's dinner will be Panko breaded baked tilapia, with spinach and whole wheat dinner roll.

Panko Breaded Baked Tilapia (Recipe taken from a Pinterest post. Panko breaded pork chops.)

I did the breading on pork chops the first time I did them, then I thought about all the other things I could cook that way. And I really enjoyed the idea of breading fish with it! 

5 tilapia fillets
canola oil (for browning first)
2 c. panko
4 tbsp Parmesan cheese
3 tbsp parsley
1 c. flour
4 eggs beaten
kosher salt
pepper

You'll want to preheat the oven to 375* and season the fillets with salt and pepper. I also seasoned with a little garlic powder, just because I love garlic.

Get out 3 shallow bowls, in 1 bowl mix panko, Parmesan, parsley and salt (again I added a few other spices for taste: oregano, basil, garlic and a little bit of fresh cracked pepper). In the next bowl put the cup of flour, and the last one the eggs. Arrange them as flour, then eggs, then panko. Heat a pan with oil on med-high heat. Coat the fillets in the flour, then egg and then panko (the panko is loose and tends to fall off, so smoosh it into the fillet really hard). Brown the fillets in pan until brown and crunchy. With the pork chops it took about 3-4 minutes per side. Then take them out of the pan and out them into a baking dish. Bake them, uncovered, until the internal temp is about 145*. Depending on the thickness of your fillets, this shouldn't take long. I would guess about 15-20 minutes or so.

1 serving of this (1 fillet) is 347 calories.

I will let you know what the final outcome of this is tomorrow. I am looking forward to my family's reaction to the meal.

Hmmm with all this talk about food, I wonder what I'll do for lunch!


Question of the Day:

What are you having for dinner?

'Twas the Night Before LoseIt...

'Twas the night before LoseIt, and all through my house... Not a food item was safe, so sorry little mouse.

Ha! I am having too much fun eating for my last day before I change my lifestyle. I had Burger King for breakfast (won't be doing that for a long time... not so good), I had football snacks for lunch (Dog Food Biscuits, which consist of mini dark rye breads, topped with a mixture of Bob Evans sausage, hamburger and velveeta cheese) and then for dinner I will be consuming my left over quesadillas from Chili's last night. Topping it all off with an apple and some tea. 

All in all I am super excited to start tomorrow. I am going to work out in the mornings (when I am not working) and then at the end of the day when I am working. We shall see what I accomplish this week. I have my week of dinner planned out and my lunches ready to go. 

So far I have been successful in keeping up with a daily post, but we shall see what happens now that I am back from Christmas Break. 

I am prepared for a gut busting, ass kicking, work out in the morning. 

Hmmm... Zumba or Just Dance... Tough one. 

(Pictures borrowed from Google Images)

2 Days Out

I am sitting here at my local Panera Bread, enjoying my last delicious bagel for a while. Cinnamon Crunch with Hazelnut cream cheese... oh yeah I will definitely miss this. Once I get more established again in my weight-y routine maybe I can venture back for a cheat day, but for now I need to cut it!

I was good, however, and decided not to "drink my calories"... I got water.

Yesterday I came in at 482 calories UNDER budget! Today... I probably wont be so lucky. Weighed myself this morning, still 218 pounds. But since it is Saturday it is technically a "cheat day" so I am taking it all in stride!

But into the real reason for this post, I wanted to talk about the amazing Apps that I will be trying during this time. All of the apps listed are free, and I have them on my iPod. I have not investigated whether they are available on Android as well, so you will have to do some digging about that! I am not endorsed by them, nor am I telling you that you need to use them. I am just telling the public about their functionality and whether they might help ME.

• Workout Trainer by Skimble: There is a free app and a paid "Premium" app. I am using the free one at the moment. On the App Store it is described as being the top fitness app. It is a system of fast an easy workouts that can be downloaded and watched from your iPod, iPhone or iPad. There are 3 different skill levels and you need to sing up for an account. You can also add workouts to your calendar and have it remind you to work it out! It seems like something I could possibly get myself into doing, they seemed like I wouldn't be yelling and crying the whole time that I have done with other work outs (I'm lookin' at you Chalene Johnson, TurboFire makes me cry). They seem reasonable. Looking forward to trying it. 
• Nexercise by Nexercise: This is like a game... from what I played around with last night. You track your workouts (they even have the Beach Body systems in there like Zumba, TurboFire, and P90X) and you gain "XP Points". These XP Points help you to level up to different fitness levels and titles and gives you badges and awards for working out! LoseIt! will give you awards too, but this seems a little more constant. It makes working out a game, and they are SERIOUS about being truthful. If they find out that you logged an exercise that you didn't do... you have a chance of being banned from Nexercise.. FOR LIFE!! Not sure how exactly they know, but whatever. Another cool part about this is that when you choose an exercise that you are doing, it asks if you want to "Track Your Motion" meaning you put your iPod/iPhone in your pocket or arm strap and it tracks your movements to calculate your XP and Calories burned! Nifty! 
• Jillian Michaels Weight Loss Plan by Jillian Michaels: I downloaded this because I was curious. To be completely honest, Jillian Michaels scares the ever loving crap out of me! But I am going to give it a try. There are work outs and meal plans, as well as a calorie log. I will try out her workouts, mainly because I'm afraid that if I downloaded her app and didn't try her workouts she may show up at my house and yell at me, and I am just not willing to take that chance. 
• LoseIt! by Fit Now: Great app, that helps and works... ya know.. when you use it. I am putting all of my confidence in this app, and letting it guide me through this process. 1,517 calories, that is the magic number! According to my magic app, it says I will be at my goal weight by August 31st... Hmmm... Challenge ACCEPTED!

Well now I have finished my bagel and cream cheese... it was heavenly and a great ending to my careless habits. Time to kick my ass into gear and get ready for what lies ahead! 8 months to lose 68 pounds. I can do this... right? 

Here's my question for today:

What weight loss/fitness apps do you use?

2013 Will Be My Year ...

A little about me.
I am 25 years old, and have battled being overweight since I hit middle school (a.k.a. "Puberty"). It was a fun time where I turned into the Sta Puft Marshmallow man, and wore nothing but stretch pants and big t-shirts until about Junior year of high school. 
I have many exciting things in my life that I would like to be healthy for. I am in a long-term relationship with my crazy lovable boyfriend Ryan, and I would like to eventually marry him (not wearing a tent).
I have my bachelor's degree in Elementary Education, and I am sadly relegated to Substitute teaching until I can get my own classroom. It's been 2 years... but my finger's are still crossed. 
I am sometimes a potty-mouth. I apologize in advance! 


Here is my story.
I have tried every diet/lifestyle change out there. I did the "French Women Don't Get Fat" leek soup cleanse (really just onion water for 48 hours... gross). I did Weight Watchers ("look I can have McDonald's for 30 points!). I tried My Fitness Pal (1,000 calories per day?! Really?!?!). I did Slim Fast (just have a shake in the morning, a meal bar for lunch, and China Buffet for dinner!). I did food journal's (Hmm... yep I had breakfast, lunch, and dinner!). The last thing I did was LoseIt!, which was successful for me for a while... then Summer, Thanksgiving, and Christmas happened... and... well... I sorta stopped following and added 10 pounds back. 
But with the New Year I am ready to finally do this. My current weight is... gosh this is scary and embarrassing... but I currently weight 218 pounds. Never really thought I was FAT before, until I saw pictures of myself from Thanksgiving and Christmas. That is when I KNEW it was time to change. 
I have started meal planning, which means that I am in control of the calories that I put into my body. I am the one that cooks 5 days a week, with left overs on the weekends. My dad has been successful with working out and "dieting" 5 days a week, then cheating (within reason) on the weekends. That is the system I am going to try and follow. 
I try working out, but I find that I am easily bored with workouts. I don't get that "high" that people talk about, I just get sweaty and smelly and I HATE it! But I have looked through and decided there were a few things that I will add to my arsenal of tolerable work outs. 

1. Just Dance for Wii (any of them, but I have 2, 3, and 4)

1. Zumba for Wii (I have done this before, and it has said my calorie burn was up near 800... how?)

1. Yoga Booty Ballet (the first work out system I ever bought, oldie, but fun too)

1. Turbo Fire (this shit is TOUGH!)

1. Walking (the old stand-by, it's boring, but I listen to music and just hope to get through it)

I will be weighing myself in on Saturday mornings, and posting a picture of myself once a month. 

My official start date is January 7th (my dad always told me it's better to start a "diet" on a Monday. New week, new life). 

Here are my stats:

Age: 25

Height: 5' 5"

Current Weight: 218 (I feel if I tell everyone it means I will change)

Goal Weight: 150

Current Pant Size: 16-18

Total Calories for Each Day: 1,517 (seems like a lot to me...)

Current Picture 

This is from Black Friday 2012

My goal will be to blog 2-3 times per week. If I can do it everyday, even just a sentence or two, I will.

Here's my question for today:

What have you tried that has been a success, or a miserable failure?