Honestly

There are 2 things that I want to talk about today. Neither of them have to do with weight or weight loss.

I have said before that I have my degree in teaching. I am currently a substitute teacher. I love getting to experience different age groups and seeing where I would really like to focus my efforts.

There is a difference when applying for a teaching job than there is when applying for a corporate, or office job. Principals are typically not the people picking out the applicants that are talked to. They help narrow down the pool, but they don't pick the first round. Also even before the events in Connecticut security was tight. You can't usually get into a school to drop off a resume due to this security, which is now even tighter.When applying for a job in the corporate world, sure you can go and turn in your resume for face time. When you're applying for a teaching job (sometimes over an hour away) it's not easy to do. Especially when the people who pull the applicants aren't always located at the school itself. Getting in contact with Principals about applications is also frowned upon. In talking with my instructors (who worked in the schools) and talking with administration staff that I know, I have been told expressly that getting in contact with principals and superintendents does not give you an advantage. They are getting 1500 applications, and 1000 emails about the applications. What person out there can say that they would sit and read 1000 emails and attached resumes? Teaching is a difficult job to get. When sending out applications it's all about who you know. Seeing as how, at this time, there are upwards of 1000 applicants for each position, they cannot read every email or listen to every voice mail or return every message.

I appreciate all of the suggestions and tips and ideas. At this point though, I have been looking for a job for 3 years. I could pretty much write a book about what to do and what not to do. Not that it would make a difference because I obviously don't have all of the answers since I still don't have a full time job. I have tried looking for tutoring jobs, and nanny jobs, but here's the rub of it... schools don't count tutoring or day care centers or nanny positions as "classroom experience" and since the only way to get that experience is by being IN A CLASSROOM I am substitute teaching. Yes it's sometimes a thankless job, when I am bouncing around to 10 different classrooms in a day, but it's still just as rewarding as having my own classroom. I get to see what I want to do, what I DON'T want to do, what I should have, and ultimately what grade I want to end up in. When I started my journey I wanted to be in Kindergarten, after student teaching I really felt more comfortable and prepared to teach kids that were in 3rd or 4th grade, and now having subbed in all grades, I really am enjoying 6th grade English and Social Studies.

But still, applying for a teaching job is not the same as applying for any other job. All applications are done online, and usually only the most recent 50-100 are pulled to be looked at. When applying timing is also important. I used to apply right when I saw a position, but at the end of my last cycle I applied closer to the end date. That was when I got my first interview. This year I will be looking more at the end dates of applying. What I am hoping for more than anything with this post, is that people understand that while I appreciate their support and words of wisdom and encouragement, applying for a teaching job can't be broken up into "This is what you're doing wrong, what you should be doing is..." or "Here's this article I found on Google".

Now that I am done with that Soap Box here is my other one.

I don't drive. Many of you know this, but on the flipside many don't.

When I was 16, in driver's ed, I had a behind the wheel teacher that was no fan of mine. Before I even started driving I was apprehensive about it. I couldn't believe that I was being trusted with something so big as driving. I was responsible for not only what I did on the road, but for the people in the car with me, AND I had to make sure that the people around me weren't going to crash into me. This made me nervous. I didn't like driving. I didn't feel I was very good at it. I know it is just something that takes practice, but I was the oldest in my family so neither of my parents had dealt with this yet. My mom would get anxious (she wouldn't admit it, but I could feel it every time I would drive) and my dad would sit in the back seat and hyperventilate. Yeah that helps the impressionable 16 year old be comfortable behind the wheel. Anyway back to my teacher.

First of all his name was Mr. Die. You can't make this shit up. He was mean, and had a ridiculous driving grade sheet. This was a Summer session. While all my other classmates were going to the McDonald's drive-thru as their lesson, we were being graded every second and had to do everything PERFECT to get even close to a good grade.

I was told 2 things by this man over the course of my LEARNING to drive.
   1.) I should never drive again
   2.) This is why women have the reputation of bad driving.

My last day, all of my friends walked away with that coveted waiver. The one that said that you didn't need to take the BTW test to get your license. I walked away with a D, and the decision that I would save the world, and do what he said.. never drive again. At 16 this was acceptable. I didn't need to have my license. But I am now 25. I am getting closer and closer to having that job. I am getting closer to moving out and starting my adult life. I have a boyfriend who cannot see at night and therefore cannot drive at night. Me getting my license is now a necessity.

I made 2 New Year's resolutions this year, lose weight was my public one... the other one I wanted to keep to myself, but I figured what's the reason behind that. If I tell everyone maybe I can get some help from people. My second one is to get my license.

I have been reading up on the tests, and while I am still very scared to get behind the wheel of a car, I need to do it for myself. But I have given myself A YEAR to do it. I am waiting for the weather to brighten up a bit to get out and drive again. (This is my personal preference. I know the benefits of learning during the winter, but I don't need that added stress.)

I am tired of the remarks and comments, mostly from my family, about how I need to do it. I am not a stupid person, I am a very intelligent person, I know what I need to do, and feeling belittled because I haven't yet doesn't help anything. I started dreading family functions, or seeing people I haven't seen for a while that's not what I want. I lived in fear of that question "Are you driving yet?" because it was inevitable. It never stopped with just that question... it went on and on. "Why not???", "You know you need to get it, right??", "What are you going to do without it??", "You can't rely on your mommy to get you around all the time", "Just do it!"

Meanwhile I am sitting there feeling more uncomfortable than you could ever imagine because guess what, I know all of that. I am aware. Because believe it or not, I have heard that same line of questions and statements from the person I talked to just before you.

It still doesn't make sense financially for me, I am making $70 a day (after taxes) and I am only working 2-3 days per week. When I get my license, regardless of if I have a car or not, I need to be added to insurance, which I cannot afford. Both my parents and my brother need to use the household cars, and I certainly can't afford to purchase one of my own. SOoooOOOoo yes, I will have my license but it will be used mostly for emergency purposes until I can afford gas, insurance, and... you know... the car.

If anyone is willing to help me I would welcome different riders, or teachers. But be aware I don't have a permit. I can only get one if I am enrolled in Driver's Education classes, and I can't afford those... I also wouldn't want to be the 25 yr old in the class of 15 yr olds... talk about embarrassing.