The truth.

I suck at trying to lose weight.

I switched to SparkPeople, yeah I logged my food for 3 days and haven't logged since. I switched back to LoseIt.

I have been logging for 3 days now. I like the interface so much better. It's easier to use and I know how it works.

I have been walking while working, and cleaning at home to get my heart rate up and using that as exercise. I found it very difficult to stick with Jillian Michaels. The spaces I have available just aren't big enough to work out in.

I suck. I know this. I want so badly to be thin, I just don't want to do what I have to to get there. I hate all of it. I hate exercising. Eating right is fine, I can do that, I like healthy food. I love cooking. I just hate everything else.

I just hate it. I wish I had a magic potion I could drink and I wouldn't have to do any of this. I hate the judgment I feel when I want to eat french fries, or when I want some frozen yogurt.

I hate the feeling that I have to do this to please other people. I hate the process of getting healthy. I would much rather sit on my couch writing my novel than go for a run, or pop in a DVD where a lady yells at me for 20-30 minutes.

I'm aware I am fat and you telling me that "400 lb people" can do some of what's in the work out so I sure as hell should be able to, yeah it makes me want to cry.

I have heard every piece of advice possible. I need to just take a break from trying so hard to get this done right now. I am going back to the basics of what worked for me when I went from almost 260 pounds to 215. I am going to cut my portions, and stay below my calories. Walking again when it's not raining and nasty out. Walking is the only thing that doesn't make me want to punch kittens.