It's been a while...

It's been a long time since I have sat down and written a blog post. I have had a lot going on in the 3 months since I got engaged. Wow... I can't believe it's been 3 months.

My fiance and I have booked a location for the wedding, I chose bridesmaid dresses and the women who will be standing next to me when I say "I do". As well as the munchkins that will no doubt steal the show.

I have also been spending a lot of time working on myself. I joined the gym with my mom in May. we've been going 5 days a week. My problem is that I have been eating crap. Since I came back from my vacation a few weeks ago, I haven't given up vacation eating. In the last week or so I have changed my eating habits again, back to my healthy ways.

I have been enjoying the gym to an extent. It's been nice having my mom go with me. It makes me accountable to work out every day during the week. I notice a difference in the way my clothes have been fitting, and that's nice. I haven't lost any actual weight, but I'm not really stressing about the number on the scale so much anymore.

I do have to say that I went wedding dress shopping yesterday at the Macy's bridal salon. I was disappointed in the way things were handled there. My consultant was very nice, but it was difficult to see a wide variety of dresses because most of their samples came in only size 8. Since I am not that, I only had a handful of dresses I could try. I did find one that I really liked, but was disappointed that I could try the style I really wanted.

My budget will allow (at the most) a $2,000 dress. It seemed that the manager, was really focused on the bride that was spending a large amount of money, and somewhat cast me to the side. My mom mentioned something to him about how disheartening it was that I wasn't able to try the styles I wanted to because they only came in a size 8 for the sample. His response was that "because of the theme I have for my wedding and my budget being so restricted I wasn't going to find what I was looking for." That left a sour taste in my mouth. The robes in the fitting room didn't fit me, so I had to stand in my bra and underwear while the door was opened and closed to fit dresses through it. I felt very exposed. The final dress I tried on, was attempted to be put on by being pulled up over my ass and hips, while the consultant was straining to get it up (which was a wonderful feeling for me) I heard the dress rip... it ripped below the zipper about 2 inches. I didn't have to pay for anything because it was a sample, and they get ripped (or at least that's what my consultant told me) it was a blow to my confidence that the size I wear in real life, in a wedding dress was needing Crisco, and a crane to put it on me.

It's not a great feeling that I have been working fairly hard, and this experience, while fun to look at the dresses, wasn't necessarily stellar. I am changing the whole vibe of my blog. I am making it about positive thinking, and working on my mind as well as my body. The pounds will come off, I am in transition right now with working out, but I am confident that when I go for another appointment to Shelley's Bridal in West Dundee, I will put on a 16 with confidence.

I don't know what else to say at this point. I hope this is a welcomed come back.